Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Quieted By Love


I circled the house for the fifteenth time or so [that sounds longer than it actually took...those of you who've been here understand.], bouncing her gently in my arms and whispering soothing sounds in her ear as I rubbed her back and nuzzled her head with my cheek. Still, the only response she gave was screaming.

Behind us trailed my sweet little shadow, Rachel. In her incredibly heart-melting 2 year old voice, she was also attempting to comfort her tiny little sister, "Oh...you poor, sweet litttle love. Oh, darling, you're ok - your mommy's got you. Sweet baby, I'm so sorry you're hurting. You'll be ok, you can do it - you're a tough little honey." I smiled. And likely blushed a little - apparently this is what I sound like...although most certainly not as adorable. Rae's cheerful encouragements were just as ineffective as my own efforts. But we both continued in our attempts as we proceeded back and forth across the living room.

After a man-sized belch, and a fair amount of spitup in my hair and down both of our chests, she was finally comfortable. And now, exhausted, she quieted. Her previously restless arms and legs now relaxed and she gripped my arm with her tiny hand and laid her head on my shoulder.

Moments later...more crying. I sat down.  Rae had returned to playing.  I leaned forward, with Lily resting on my legs and took her head in my hands, gently stroking her face with my thumbs.  I bent further and pressed my lips against her ear and continued to whisper lovingly to her and kiss her ... whisper ...kiss ...whisper ...kiss.  Her frantic, painful cries slowed a mournful whimpers...momentarily.  This carried on for a time - cries, comfort...whimpers....cries.  The cycle eventually ended and I sat staring at this beautiful little creature wondering how she could possibly be producing such intense noise all on her own...and wishing I knew how to better soothe her discomfort.

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:19

He will quiet you with His love.

I am awestruck by this, as I consider it in light of my own experience with LilyMae.

As I experience the difficulties, pains, trials and discomforts of life...He sees.  He hears.  He holds me in His hands and whispers encouragements and love gently into my life. It still hurts.  But when I pause long enough to hear His voice above my own tearful cries and notice His touch despite my panicked flailing... I am able to rest a moment - quieted by His comforting love.

I'm reminded of Rachel's words to Lily, "You're ok - your mommy's got you."

I'm ok...He is holding me.  And unlike myself - who is actually relatively helpless to resolve my daughter's discomfort - regardless of what I so confidently whisper to my children in their distress - He IS mighty to save.  And He will save us...those of us who accept His love.  Although, not always in the ways or timimg we would like.  He will hold us through it all and quiet us with His love...aching with us as He sees our pain...delighting in us...rejoicing over us with singing. How amazing is THAT?! :)